diary of a quarter life crisis

Due to slightly farcical end to China trip where I decided to cut it short rather than face alternative: unfortunate sequence of events which would have meant the last 10 days of trip being spent as a 2, just the militant vomiter and I – I found myself with a couple days in blighty post Shanghai for some r&r en route to NYC.

Slept, ate delicious home cooked food, slept some more, stood in the power shower til I looked like a prune, caught up with the fam briefly, slept, stuffed face with belated easter egg and then repacked ready for the city that never sleeps.

Had another great start to proceedings courtesy of the rents booking me into the lounge, bring on the gin! Delayed by 2hrs…worse places to be than sat on a comfy sofa in front of the free bar. No characters this time assides from some precocious children called Leo and Rocco #sooooo2016dharling.

 

Read Travel magazine and plotted next adventures (…ignorance is bliss when it comes to bank balances right?!) and read through lots of helpful tips from my marvelous friends on what to see whilst in the Big Apple. Thanks y’all.

All rushed to the gate only to sit for another 45 minutes in less comfy seats, with no gin in the departure lounge. Got massively mugged off by the vending machine which charged me £2 for non existent bottle of water…coin return also mysteriously broken! Bastards!

Assuming further delay can only be a result of ‘Norwegian Air’ sizing up the passengers to see who has the longest legs for helping aid the run up the tarmack, ala The Flintstones. Don’t fly cheap airlines, lesson learnt….think I already knew it but putting it down to delirium!

Pleasantly surprised whilst on board, flight only 6.5hrs so feels like a breeze amidst the 60hrs+ I’ve already done. Got sat behind everyone’s favourite douchebag, 5ft 2″ woman who reclined her seat as far as it would go mid take off before seat belt sign even off! #ihopeyouchokeonthatcroissant!

After watching a hilarious immigration video in the queue, where real life staff didnt exactly match up with the friendly faces welcoming you to the US and a long and treacherous subway journey, full of all the ‘charachters’ you’d expect to see on underground trains at midnight on a Saturday night, I arrived at my hotel. Stones throw from Times Square / Theatre District and ready for bed…72hrs in NYC..on your marks, get set, go…..!!! Xx

 

 

 

Arrived at Shanghai after a far nicer journey by bullet train from Beijing. Headed across on the metro, crazy busy yet again, people trampling the elderly to get to the vacant seats and met Mr Kerr at the station. Not brave enough to attempt balancing on back of his scooter whilst wearing a 18kg backpack so we wandered back to the apartment. Welcome home indeed. Gorgeous place, sporting Ramsays eye tor design at every turn. Sat on a real life sofa and drank much needed Gin & Tonic.

Dinner was expertly selected fish and chips at a local place near by. perfect suggestion! Was delicious and a welcome change from indeterminate meat and rice flavour!

Slept in my OWN double room for the first time in 2 and a bit months and it was amazing. As demonstrated by the fact I slept for 12hrs solid. I’ve got the days to myself to explore whilst Ramsay is at work so all is well. Had a lazy morning of rest and BBC TV and headed down to Jing’an Temple for a spot of culture in the afternoon. Beautuful temple set nestled amidst the corporate tower blocks and shopping malls of central Shanghai. Got caught in an epic thunderstorm so sought shelter in with a 10ft jade Buddha and watched the lightening dart across the rainy sky.

I got back in to full tourist mode and spent the remainder of the day checking out Nanjing Road, the largest shopping street in the world; it has shops with literally everything for miles and miles. Wandered aimlessly in and out of places marvelling at the bizarre items for sale and mesmerised by the fact that H&M looks identical in every city I’ve visited.

Decided on dinner for 1 at Thai Princess, fancy looking place in one of Nanjing’s many shopping malls. Spicy thai curry did it’s best to clear my cold! So nice to have enjoyed such a chilled day after the madness of the last couple of months. I need to make the most of my few days here so tomorrow will be back into long days of sight seeing, but thought I owed myself one day to adjust.

Wednesday was a fantastic morning visiting the Shanghai Propaganda Museum. It’s a tiny museum on the outskirts of town, actually housed in a basement level apartment building (and very hard to find without the help of Ramsay and a very friendly cab driver). It houses a pristene collection of some of China’s most fascinating examples of propaganda posters, lovingly rescued and preserved amidst government ordered desrruction post cultural revolution. Fascinating to see so many historic pieces all in one place. I bought some postcards for a pretentious collage I shall put up in my home one day and thanked the owner for a really interesting morning.Getting back to civilisation was the trickier task once I’d left the museum. had a helpful map from Ramsay but much like lots of things in China nothing is where it is supposed to be! I asked a lovely lady on the street for help  hoping she’d speak English and pity me and she walked me the whole way to the metro!! Her name was DQ and she was from just outside Shanghai. Her English was immaculate and she was delightful company for the 15 minute walk to the station. we talked about life in China, travel and Downton Abbey. She said I had eyes just like Adele and she wanted them! I bid her farewell to change subway lines as she headed off to work as a nurse in central Shanghai and I made my way to People’s Square for more sights.

Manners and those people trying to scam you asside, the people of China whove approached us have all been very friendly and warm to us as tourists. Whilst cultural differences have sometimes meant we’ve been more a point of fascination, nearly everyone we have encountered along the way has been happy and cheery and approached us with good intentions, something I will really take away from my time here.

I spent the rest of the day pottering around People’s park, a huge park near the river in Shanghai. I took bus to People’s hero cenotaph and the Bund (shanghai southbank), to catch a glimpse of one of Asias most iconic skylines. I visited the free bund history museum to learn a little more and marvelled at a very foggy view of skyline

On the way home I stopped off to see the famous site of First National Congress of Chinese Communist Party. Whilst you can’t go inside was very interesting to see and in a really cool part of town.

Headed back to Ramsays and decided all that lugging of my giant backpack and walking everywhere warranted a spot of yoga to stretch those tired muscles! Ramsay’s mate runs the class so we went along and it was really fun, had a good laugh and she was a great teacher (well when he wasn’t standing on my shoulders to get me to stretch properly anyway!) I got told I smelt nice and was very flexible so a resounding success I think! Might try and take it up properly at home as felt tonnes better in the morning!

We headed out to dinner at another great place Ramsay likes to go, Japanese this time and very delicious and met his mate Ted for drinks at a cool street full of bars afterwards. I’m still yet to put my hand in my pocket – very generous hosting skills and just so grateful and feel very lucky to have such nice company and a bit of down time to chill.

Friday I headed over to the City of God temple and Yu Gardens, 2 of Shanghai’s must see tourist highlights. It was a gorgeous day for it, jeans were a bad choice! The Gardens were beautiful…once I’d found them! they were in the ornamental style, very oriental and very well kept. Wandered happily for an hour or so and enjoyed the sunshine. Stopped for some of Shanghai famous steamed dumplings at Nanxiang dumpling restaurant, queue was out the door and down the street so thought it was a good sign, they were yum!

Decided to be a bus wanker yesterday and use the sightseeing buses to get about, mainly because my legs are literally giving up on me! Buses themselves so unreliable and zero information, just horrendously irritating muzak playing round and round and no announcements as to which stop is which! but since I had a 2 day pass I hoped on and headed back to he bund to see if the fog had cleared. Success. What a difference a day makes!!!

Back to the flat for quick change and Friday night drinks with Ramsays friends. We went for dinner at a other great Italian place, doesnt even feel like I’m in China anymore… went for drinks at this cool little place which was essentially tables outside a supermarket in the French concession.

Onto a speakeasy bar until late where we spent most of the evening putting the world to rights,including an extensive rant by Ramsay about how overrated Sandi Toksvig is….got in at 3.30am so we ate crisps and watched a prog on the discovery channel about why planes crash, it was bizarre….

Saturday was a chilled day, pottered the shops and headed to the top of the Hyatt to the amazing bar and to see the nighttime view of the city. I decoded against a dip in the hot tub and watched the place English ones get in! Views were great but it was bloody freezing so we stayed for a couple, took some snaps and headed onwards.

We went out for dinner at a Sechanese place. I had a Shanghai history lesson from Ramsay on the back of the scooter as we sped through the shanghai streets which was a bonus, great way to see the city.

Sunday we were hungover so sat on the sofas feeling sorry for ourselves and watched the 3 hour American idol final. Nice dinner and a pub quiz to end a quintessentially English day. The team was just the 2 of us: “The Moira Stewarts” we called ourselves and we did pretty terribly coming in second from last, beating only the team who turned up late and missed the first round!!! But lots of fun and great way to wave bye to my time here.

It has been really great to spend time catching up with Ramsay after so long; you have been the perfect host Mr Kerr and I couldn’t have asked for a better few days to end my China adventure, leaving with positive memories, well rested and full of gin! Great work sir!

But now new adventures beckon, US of A is calling and I can’t bloomin wait! Xx

 

Survived our FINAL night train – wahoo. Was touch and go for 5 mins or so though, after I smashed my head really badly on the roof trying to get up to my bed on world’s tiniest comedy ladder! Top bunk surprisingly ok, actually managed 3 hours sleep or so…pretty impressive given the 10hr journey.

Arrived in Beijing at 6am, tired and achey from mammouth few days of hiking and kung fu! Straight to ‘pit stop’ hostel in middle of town for a quick bit of breakie and to pack a day bag for our overnight stay at the Great Wall.

Decided to swing by the Olympic Park en route as various demands by members of group to fit things in as we all leave on different days at different times means everything a bit manic and confused.

Had another zombie ish wander. Thought it would be much more pristene and preserved but Ann (our guide) outlined the government have pretty much let it go to shit as the maintenence costs even when it is unused for a year are £2 million. If it is used they increase significantly so it’s just sitting empty until the 2022 winter Olympics rolls round and guessing they’ll employ an entire village to give it a jet wash!!!

Headed on to one of the standout highlights of the trip, our trek on the great Wall. Shame we were also starving and shattered from being up since 5am! Prospect of a 4hrs hike really not appealing….literally at all…morale was low, even comedy singalong in car effort was shot down! #toughcrowd

 

We visited the Badaling ancient segment of the wall. An unrestored section ordinarily open only to locals, expert Dragon Trip insider skills meant that we too were able to walk it. It was physically the most demanding day we’ve had, constant ups and downs on uneven, slippery and rocky terrain. We struggled. A lot. Essentially we only perserved by all imagining David Beckham was waiting for us half naked at the top with a plate of cheese!!!

 

It was a lot of fun and one of he most peaceful and rewarding things we have done all tour. The silence was deafening, you could literally hear a pin drop, well when we’d taken a break from excessive cursing and hyperventilating anyway!

Journey back down almost as tough and more treacherous as constant concentration on not falling flat on your arse required. Unbelievably I picked up zero injuries! A miracle! Group all very patronisingly proud!

 

Couldn’t decide if we wanted to eat, sleep or cry by time we got back to the hotel. Sleep deprivation was seriously taking its toll and all of us where physically and mentally exhausted.

Had another “sharing” meal…..where vulture like group members with zero consideration or “buffet etiquette” stuffed faces and spun the lazy Susan towards themselves whilst others trying to eat from it!!!! #JOEYDOESNTSHAREFOOD! Worst quality meal we’ve had all trip, pushed a few bits about my plate and admitted defeat.

Before we headed to bed….at 9pm (!!) it was time for the famous Dragon Trip chopstick challenge, who can pick up the most peanuts with chopsticks! I was the joyous winner managing 17 of the oily buggers in 30 seconds, not too shabby! Up against competitors who have bought forks from home though so not much contest!!!

Next morning was another shocking 4.45am start to catch sunrise on the Great Wall….all skeptical of timings as outlined by guide but met her at reception as planned. Skeleton group as others decided to stay in bed….?!?! “Sure, you have a lie in, after all you can watch sunrise at the great wall of china any time”…….oh wait!?

 

Headed to the same section we’d walked yesterday which was a bit rubbish and surprise surprise by time we’d hiked the hour to reach the first peak we’d pretty much missed it! Did say to guide we thought we’d need more time…so all in all a bit of a pointless excersise. It was bloody freezing, even my knee caps were cold?! Is that even a thing? I mean what even is that?! We were back at the hostel by 6.45am. Productive start to another punishing day!!

Lost another of the group to the dreaded China germs so made for a touch and go 3hr minibus ride back to central Beijing! Bless her. Attempted to sleep nearly the whole way back to the hostel. We were able to check in to the hostel this time so headed up to our depressing 14 bed dorm room…..and sat on my top bunk feeling sorry for myself until it was time to head to Tiannamen Square and the famous Forbidden city tour in the afternoon.

Tiannamen square wasn’t really as I’d imagined. The iconic gate to the palace was smaller and looked more like the front of a travelodge, just with a big pic of Chairman Mao on the front of it! Ann sheepishly told us some of the history of the square which we were already acutely aware of and wanted us not to discuss anything further since there are secret plain clothed police everywhere apparently?!

 

We wandered the many gates and imperial pavilions of the Forbidden city and walked some more steps (shock horror!) to the park pagoda to get a birds eye view of the whole Palace grounds. All beyond exhausted and sad to say that marred a lot of the enjoyment of the day as we were finding it hard to concentrate on literally staying awake, let alone absorbing the surroundings. Guide had very little information which was a bit disappointing as felt we could have learned a lot more about our locations visited than simply having someone to physically take you from A to B.

5 of 6 of us headed to traditional Peking Duck dinner at a swanky looking place along from the hostel. Ordered WAY to much on recommendation from guide and barely scratched the surface. Was delicious but could’ve fed 50 let alone 5!!!

After some negotionations of order of events to try and fit everything in we then went on to the Night market. Essentially rows and rows of food stalls lining a street with weird and wonderful delicacies for the brave (and the stupid!) to try. Classic chinese approach to cuisine of we will literally eat anything, accompanied by shouts from stall holders: “beef, squid, platapus”!…….everything which had a face came with it still attached, save for the baked starfish which just came on sticks?!?!?! Glad we’d eaten before hand!

Monday was our final day in Beijing before we scatter onto new locations and some return home. The morning was spent at the Temple of heaven. As you enter the grounds the first section is a huge public park which is largely famous for the best location for “daily excercises”, a ritual rigorously followed by the elderly generation in China to maintain levels of fitness. It was stuffed full of older people conducting an array of absolutely fascinating excercises, hobbies and routines.

 

4 blokes in their 70s let me join them to play some hackysack, the true game of choice for any self respecting retred person in China! I was actually pretty good at it #foundanothercalling.

Said our goodbyes to Aylia who is en route to Thailand and spent the afternoon bartering for more tacky shit at the world famous Beijing fakes market. 4 floors of fake everything from headphones to hairdye, lipsticks to longchamps. You want fake anything they have it.

Acrobatic show in the afternoon, it was very bizarre but antisocial not to go since it was our last night together. Chinese crowds are seriously hard to please!! I wouldn’t get out of bed for the level of applause the performers received let alone risk my life every day to perform death defying stunts for their amusement. Really is very shocking to see just how ungracious and underwhelmed an audience.

Had a shambolic final dinner which ended up just being 3 of us as Sophie and Frances left early for their 4 star hotel…who can blame them! Average meal in grimy place after vetoing the first choice as the smell of purifying meat so overwhelming we only made in 5 paces inside the door!!!

Said goodbyes to lovely Annick, the best roomie I could’ve asked for all this trip and a real light on the dark days. Thanks for keeping me smiling you absolute hero, I miss you already!

Survived our FINAL and shit night of hostel sleep and said farewell to the tour and Hello next stop: Shanghai! xx

 

 

 

 

We got up at 5 for our 6hr coach from Xi’an and arrived at Shaolin in time for lunch. Coach literally pulled onto the hard shoulder and turfed us out on the middle of the motorway, and a monk came and picked us up in a minivan!

Drive to the guesthouse worried me as it looked like one of our youth prison sites but rooms were lovely. All in private rooms (*rejoice*) and the sun has stayed out. Sat soaking up some rays and had a delicious lunch courtesy of the monks who live on site. All the food is grown less than 20 ft from the kitchen and was so fresh. Great to see lots of vegetables and no processed crap which we’ve survived on for too long!

Took a drive out into the mountains to the local Kung-fu school and we’re treated to a mind blowing show by the little ones training to be masters!

Next it was our turn! Met our Kung-fu teachers, my favourite of whom was Chris. Chris was a middle aged white guy who had clearly had a misspent youth watching the karate kid!!! Didn’t ask his full background instead favouring my own made up story that he was a manager of a Tesco and just one day snapped and decided to escape to the mountains to find himself as live as a kung-fu monk in the hills forever more!

Niceties over, it was  time for our first lesson! Obviously given my proficiency at all things hand eye coordination I was a natural……………struggled so much that I was assigned an individual helper monk to reposition me at all times! Awkward!

Was lots of fun though and great to be outside and away  from the busy, hectic city life we seem to have been submerged in since we arrived in China.

Made the most of the fresh air, took comedy snaps and watched the sunset.

 

Home in time for another delicious dinner. Much like Mama Thurlow, the monks cater for 50-60 guests when there are only 8 of us so we tried out best to be polite and eat what we could before a well earned sleep ahead of another busy day tomorrow.

Friday was badged as another optional hike but given all my war wounds and the fact I’ve technically survived the others thought might as well just get on with it. Got to the car park and the end goal was pointed out, tiny statue in the far distance at the top of a sodding massive bloody mountain! Marvellous!!!

Vomiter has also picked up stomach bug (shock horror….who’ve thought eating shit street food and never washing your hands…ever…would have that effect!) and insisted on coming along with us. All skeptical that she would be able to manage as clearly has some form of heat stroke, she got aggressive and insisted she came. Got part way to the top, stopped for a group photo and she threw up everywhere….again! Literally are you even an adult?! How are you functioning making such shocking life decisions. Everyone pissed off as we now have to look after her on our own on another night train with no guides to help us because she’s too stubborn to be responsible!!! Is it hometime yet?!?!?!

Celebrity status was literally off the chain in Shaolin. Lei Lei warned us we would be an attraction for locals but it was crazy. I was asked by 29 separate groups of people for photographs!!!! Stopped counting after that, those were just the ones who were upfront! Caught loads of people taking sly ones. Others delighted in fact I seemed to be taking the brunt of it!?! Assuming as I am the palest one I am more freakish than the others?!

 

Frances attempted to tell people I was Cheryl Cole (will totally take that!!!) in an attempt to charge ¥5 each picture for a beer fund! Failed miserably. Everyone wants to touch me constantly, perhaps they think my pasty complexion has magical powers?!

My favourite was this ghetto G bloke who asked if I could hold his dog and be in a picture with both of them?!?! Very bizarre. Dog was literally adoreable. Almost as cute as Dexter who I met in Melbourne! His name was Timmo, he was fluffy and tiny and I loved him!

We had a wander around the complex soaking up some more Shaolin temple culture. Got stared at a lot and so headed back to find the others.

We went to watch another Kung-fu show, this time performed by kids who attend the local private kung fu school and pay £600 a month for the privilege. Was really trippy with loads of lights, weapons and loud music. Actually thought it was pretty average, much more impressed by the poorer farm kids the day before, they were much slicker and more focused…a key component of kung fu I’ll have you know #expert #couldntevendotheeasyposes!

Took our seriously tired legs back to the hostel for our last delicious lunch! Had a couple of hours to pack and chill before the bus to the station for our last and final night train to Beijing! Thank the lord.

We were warned by Lei Lei that Zhenzhou is “the worst train station in China”….laughed given his propensity to over exaggerate everything! Thoughts supported by his reasoning that this was because “KFC there doesn’t even have a chicken burger”!?! Got inside and the shock was overwhelming
Literally thousands of people everywhere!!! All lying on the floor, on chairs, 28 degrees inside the station and a cloudy haze of smoke hanging over everything! Makes St Pancras on bank holiday weekend look like a walk in the park!

We were actually eager to get on the train!!! My turn in the top bunk coffin though and not looking forward to that. Only saving grace being if he vomiter decides to live up to her glorious reputation yet again….I’ll be out of the splash zone!!! Xx

Night train just as gross as anticipated again but at least only 15hrs this time. I got the bottom bunk which was prime positioning for random children to try to climb on me when they got confused about which bed their mum was in!! We decided fairest way was to rotate bed locations so we all get one train journey in the “coffin” (top bunk). I obviously did my research and offered to do the last leg to Beijing immediately which others thought was really noble. Clearly no one else bothered to work out this was also the shortest possible route where we get on at 10pm and off at 6am! Fools!

Another shocking excuse for sleep, maybe 1hr or so in total. Bunks right above a squeaky set of wheels, get some WD40 on there for christ sake lads!!! So shattered when we got off. Following gross vomit fiasco we worked out a couple of us have had about 12hrs sleep in 4 days! Zombie doesn’t even cover it…..

Met Lei Lei, our new tour guide at the train station. Super fabulous bloke who’s life’s ambition seemed to be to find a job which involved holding a flag! He swished the dragon trip logo through the streets like he was in a baton twirling championship! He’s a total sweetheart and affectionately refers to us as “angels”. Only slight anomaly was the mate he bought along to join us for 3 days of this chunk of the trip. “Hoop” is a 50 odd year old bloke who looks a bit Yewtree and has worn double denim every day….but nothing about this place surprises me anymore! We boarded the bus an pretended it was normal.

 

Listened to traditional Chinese chorus of disgusting locals hack up the contents of their lungs and spit them on the floor of the bus around our feet #canyousaySARS

Arrived at the hostel which is within the city walls of Xi’an, really sweet little place, very traditional, lucky given the array of hostels we passed on route…including “golden shower hostel”…so really could’ve been much worse!!

Got to the Lobby only to be told we were in a shared dorm again. After fiasco in Chengdu put my foot down and decided along with Annick to upgrade to a private room, I would pay £15 for distance from the militant trade unionist vegetarian vomit-er literally EVERY day of the week! Think it sent a clear message that we are still not amused!

Really like Xi’an on the whole. It has a really authentic traditional feel whilst still feeling vibrant and cosmopolitan. The balance between old and new can be found everywhere from the food to the architecture.

We had some lunch and headed to the city walls to get a birds eye view of the city. Nothing within the walls can be more than 10m higher than the wall itself so walking the walls gives a great perspective. It’s 14km to loop the whole thing, Sophie and I decided against cycling and went for an amble instead. She has a chest infection and I have a small amount of dignity to maintain so we both thought walking was the best option. Had a chat with a very eager to please Lei Lei who was excited to have us as his first solo trip in 6 weeks of working for the dragon trip.

Miraculously the sun has decided to join us here, so we walked 6km or so and decided we had earned a frosty beer. Sat on the veranda of the Hostel and waited for the others.

Headed out to see the biggest light and water show in Asia at the Golden Pagoda in town. Had to navigate the bus system by ourselves….bit of a nightmare but meant we got to see some hidden bits of the city whilst we desperately searched for the mythical 609 bus stop!

 

Show was free and very impressive. Other entertainment highlights were jobsworth security guard who swore at a 5 year old and blew a whistle in his face for sitting on the ledge. Fuses also starting to spark amongst rest of group about true feelings towards the vomiter. Its all very drama drama. But makes for interesting viewing regardless.

 

Think beds in hostel must double up as concrete paving slabs on the day as I think idve slept better standing upright the shower than on that! So hard! Also helped by room being above nightclub kareoke night. Chinese woman murdering maroon 5 at 1am! Not sure if she was at a “payphone” or on her “way home”?!?!

Wednesday was unmissable visit to the see the Terracotta Warriors. As Xi’ans most famous landmark we were expecting a conveyor belt of tourists but was surprisingly quiet. Had a great morning marvelling at them all. Really is very fascinating. Watched the world’s most boring video which tried desperately to suck most of the enjoyment out of it!

Excavation is very manic and has resulted in lots being damaged and poor preservation techniques mean oxidisation has destroyed all the colour. Regardless it is striking to see so many thousands lined up in perfect rows, testament to what can be achieved when you forcibly imprison the entire population of a city to work slave labour for 40 years!!!

Got some time to top up the tans on the lawn outside the museum and headed back to the hostel for some free time and to stock up on toys for our visit to the Star Sun House Special needs school.  Particularly interesting for me given my current career thoughts. Strikingly different attitude to special needs and disability here means the majority of these children are abandoned at birth or shortly after their needs become apparent. Really is heartbreaking to see. Place was full of beautiful children who were full of fun and just wanted to play.

Had a really wonderful time. The poverty is very apparent and the lack of funding they receive is appalling, all the staff are selfless volunteers who care for the children all of whom live there. Really wished there was more we could’ve done than just bring bubbles, toys, draw pictures and dance with them for a couple hours. Majestic you realise how fortunate we are in the UK to have a far more open minded attitude towards children with complex needs.

Headed to the Muslim quarter for food and more tacky souvenir shopping. Celebrity status in full swing as always, locals fascinated by westerners who obviously don’t venture out in the towns very often. 5 people asked for pictures with me this time, so we are getting good at just playing along as everyone is very nice on the whole. Lovely to see the city lit up at nighttime, it is a really beautiful place – one of my favourites in China so far. #minimalcontest

Off to the mountains to become a kung-fu master for the next couple days, via stinky 6hrs coach obviously! So I’ll keep you updated on if I find my calling, Karate Kid stylee! Xx

 

Boarded our 25hr train to Chendu, was unbelievably a bit worse than I was expecting, but we made do. Bed layout was very prison chic, complete with inability to sit up in bunk #nooneistallerthana4yearoldhere. We were lucky to have one english speaking woman who agreed to switch bunks with us so we were all together though which was nice.

We played 5 rounds of cards and died a bit inside when we realised we weren’t even an hour in! Carriage brightened up by our neighbours who’s antisocial train snack of choice was “1000 year old preserved egg” – a Chinese delicacy that it about as rotten and fermented as it sounds #justeatcrisps #iwannagetoff

Seemed to go on for days (well more than one full day anyway!) and about 15hrs in we all agreed we couldn’t remember a time when we weren’t on the train. Stared at constantly by locals, ate a LOT of junk food and played a lot more cards. Frances had bought the “rock and pop legends” edition, each card depicting a different rock icon, I set a personal challenge to remember which rock star was on every card. Managed to fill a couple of hours and girls wowed by strange memory skills, 52/52 in my test! Others used the time to learn Mandarin…….not sure how that is more useful in China than knowing Led Zeppelin are on the 2 of Diamonds?!?!

Finally arrived in Chengdu broken and seriously sleep deprived! Met our new guide, Kid, and headed to Mr Panda Hostel. Not quite the glamorous accomodation I was hoping for! Very run down and basic, but that’s the spirit of the trip so I need to stop being surprised! Went for a luke warm shower and a rest before heading out for dinner. All decided against massage from a blind masseuse when the venue was pointed out…looked more like a crack den brothel so decided our backs weren’t actually as bad as we thought!

Dinner was a sezchuan tradition – hot pot! Sizzling spicy broth with an array of veg and meat to cook inside it. Was delicious although wimped out and stuck to mainly the least spicy broth. Aylia and Beth persevered insisting the hot one “wasn’t even spicy” whilst their noses ran and eyes streamed!

Highlight of this part of the trip was Easter Sunday where we got to go to the Chengdu Conservation and Breeding centre to see the Pandas!!!! Beyond adoreable. So chubby and cute, despite the fact that in reality they could rip your face off we cooed and ahhhed over them for a couple of hours.

Learnt all about the breeding programme there, they started with just 6 in 1987 and now have 146 healthy, happy pandas there. Decided it’s most certainly the life for me, 15hrs a day sleeping and eating and then the rest doing roly polys and falling off of stuff #notfaroffitalready.

Saw some curious red pandas, bit tenuous given they are basically just raccoons. They came to say hello, I walked under the trees to find the others and a bird shat on my head! Another winning day in travellers paradise!

Boarded a 2hr mini bus to see the World’s Largest Stone Buddha. Spent the journey eating mini eggs (courtesy of Claire so we felt included in easter, love you!!!) and napping. Still knackered from the train.

Leshan is a bustling town full of tourist shops and places to eat. The key attraction is the 71 meter Buddha which is carved into the Rock face. It was really very impressive, his ear alone is 7m high!

The insane queue to get to see it not so much, made Disney feel like a breeze!!!!!  More classic examples of Chinese etiquette where the philosophy seems to be “if we all shove and push we’ll get there faster!”

Fun night of drinks turned into worst night of holiday courtesy of ridiculous actions of one member of our group. She decided to go out and get irresponsibly shit faced, grope other girls in our group then come back to the hostel at 2.30am amd vomit all over the floor of our room!! Not at all classy. Hostel made us 3 sharing room with her clean it up, took us 2hrs on our hands and knees to clean everything as she’d managed to cover our clothes, bags and my journal in disgusting sick. We put her on the sofa near the bathrooms and she proceeded to hammer the door down at 7am to get back in. Took her 2hrs to apologise! Literally ridiculous, so unreasonable, Needless to say has selishly affected the group dynamic and no one in the mood after 3hrs sleep to be around her. What a dick head!

Decided to make most of final day and went to People’s park and to visit iconic Chairman Mao statue in the square built during the cultural revolution. 10.1m high to commemorate the national holiday, October 1st.

Had traditional Chicken Mc Sandwich lunch and spet the afternoon at the Wenshu monastery. We walked through the beautuful ornate gate to be greeted by a human being taking a shit on the pavement……. this place is literally disgusting on so many levels!!!! I cannot get my head around being do technologically advanced and still having no concept of basic hygiene!?!

We saw some beautiful temples within the monastery as well as intricately carved Buddhas and learned more interesting facts about Buddhism. Also saw a monk on an iPhone!! It is lovely to find a calming sense of peace amidst the mania. Even just for an hour or so!

Went to The Jingli Street market in the afternoon, split into three streets: food street, bar street and souvenir street. We pottered quite happily, I ate a giant candy floss in the shape of a flower, mesmerised watching the woman make it!

We also tried on comedy Panda hats and took pics next to the sign which said “do not take photos”….whoops. Markets becoming slightly seen one you’ve seen them all, same crap on all the stalls but great place to get a feel for the hustle and bustle of the city.

Had a delicious dinner at the little family run place next to the hostel, caught up with the tour group behind who looked to have faired much better on the train than we did when we arrived and headed to the train station.

Had a chat about thoughts of China in general, I aired views about it being dirty and noisy and a bit of a shithole. Getting bored of the reverse snobbery for not being laid back and absorbing the culture from certain member of group….*cough* traveller wanker *cough*. I refuse to make apologies for wanting to wear clean underwear everyday, shower daily and not watch people shit on the pavement. #hardlyaprincess!!!!! Think the whole “embrace the wonder of it all” is fine if it’s sincere but it gets very dull to hear constant preaching about how at one with nature you are and that “amaaaaahzing time in South America you ate a tribes woman’s placenta” or whatever! #boreoff #notactualstory #dramaticeffect

Waited for another grim night train this time to Xi’an, ready to see the Terracotta Warriors and looking forward to a few real highlights of the trip coming up over the next few days. Gunna put some smooth jazz on the ipod and go to sleep #oldladytravels. Night all Xx

 

Arrived at the hostel 2 minutes after scheduled tour departure time after nightmare journey, only to find the guide had left without me! Luckily also 2 lovely girls from the tour in the same predicament so we made our own way to the peak to catch up with the guide and one other girl…. After I’d slipped over on the stairs in the rain in my giant backpack and slid down them #firstimpressions #imallglamour

All ladies in our group and only 6 of us, so very different to what I was expecting, Everyone is lovely though and we had an entire day of public transport to bond. #girlsquad

Journey to first point of call in China, Yangshou, was a mission! 8 hrs after crossing the border we arrived at the hostel. Horrifying death ride yet again, weaving in and out of cars, no lanes, no mercy! Lost count of times we stared at giant juggernaut headlights coming straight towards us on wrong side of the road! This was the moment guide decided to tell us a “fun fact” that 700 people die on Chinese roads every DAY! #whatashocker #maniacs!

Arrived at hostel,  It was basic but fine. Got double rooms as there are so few of us so that’s bonus. Went for dinner at Lucy’s Place in town, first authentic chinese food and it was delish. Early ish night ahead of long day of sights.

Took part in a great authentic cooking class, getting to be an actual real life chef for the day (despite outfit making me look like I work in a fast food chain!). All part of the colourful experience was shopping for ingredients in the market near by. Smell will stay with me for a long time, eau de Death and rotting veg! Far more primitive practices than I was looking to ever see let alone at 9am…hypocrisy at its finest given my choice to eat meat but could’ve done without seeing an actual dog get gutted in front of me for customer to put in his stew, whilst the others cowered, 6 or 7 rammed in a tiny cage looking on at their inevitable fate. Cats in same boat! #whatswrongwithtofu?!

Took mainstream food back to the cooking school and got my wok on. So fun and food delicious.

Afternoon was badged as an unmissable activity, cycling to the Lei river for traditional bamboo rafting. By “unmissable” assuming they actually meant terrifying?! Realised I had never actual ridden a bike on a main road in my life #cyclingproficiancyfail #hadbetterthingstodowithmysaturdays and after nearly dying approximately 34 times I can confirm that chinese roads are not a good starting point. So stressful, noisy and generally terrifying. Highlight: getting a pink bicycle with a basket, low light: literally everything else!!!!!! Scenery was beautiful but too busy concentrating on not being flattened by insane bus drivers to notice much. 1.5hrs of cycling takes it toll too, generally not sure if I’ll be able to have kids ever… #newfoundappreciateforchrishoy

Ventured into the town centre for drinks at the famous Monkey Janes rooftop bar. Monkey Jane is a chain smoking, rum drinking, Western loving hostel owner who also happens to be shit hot at Beer Pong, not brave enough to challenge her after our practice attempt. We were shocking. Wrote a Tripadvisor review on all got crappy promotional tshirt though. Drank “buckets” of local alcohol and prayed we wouldn’t get poisoned! Fun night all round!

Wednesday was optional Rock climbing which obviously I didn’t do given I can’t even walk in a straight line! Went for breakfast with Sophie & Frances and a wander to the park pagoda! Looped the park and most of the village several times in attempt to find entrance given Asias complete lack of signage (in any language!) But made it. Few hundred punishing shiny marble steps, wet from constant rain and zero health and safety. Can only assume these activities contribute to capping the population by allowing so many to fall to a hilly death!

Back to hostel to meet our guide and head to Moon Hill. Described as a beautiful scenic hike I was already concerned. Failed to mention in the literature said hike was at the top of 860 steps carved out of a sheer rock face. So slippery and dangerous. Not at all fun. Obviously bets were off as to who was most likely member of group to fall flat on their arse! Right on cue, will have a huge bruise as a momento! Thighs given up after cycling and pagoda hike…#beyonceiaint

Hiked from moon hill to famous mud baths and hot springs deeper into the mountains. Caves beautiful but mud bath freezing. No one made it in past their ankles as couldn’t feel our feet, such a disappointment as we were so excited to do it and take comedy mud snaps! Decided to get in the hot spring instead – also freezing, we persevered but agreed it was pretty much akin to just sitting in a dirty puddle in a building site….just whilst in bikinis being stared at by large chinese tour groups #girlsquadzoo.

Cormorant fishing in the evening which was really weird. Sat in a rickety boat and watched a man on a raft paddle down the river leading 4 birds who caught fish and then regurgitated them into a wicker basket for the family to eat…….it took an hour for them to catch 7 tiny fish! We got cold and I nearly fell over again! But enriching and culturally diverse all the same.

Kayaking on thursday got cancelled due to river being too high….oh dear…what a shame as we all know how great i’dve been at that!! So we went for lunch and stocked up on supplies for the dreaded 25hr train to Chendu….

Spent the afternoon in the rain walking a local market then headed to our hosts family for dinner. Stopped off at her mums place for tea which tasted of fags and tequila and a look at some family photos. She was a really lovely lady despite having teeth like Jaws in James bond. We tried to drink our tea and ate with Sally’s family at their home 10 mins away. Food was yummy and littuns in the house were adoreable.

Managed to meet up with the tour group 2 days behind us for some drinks in town and headed to bed for much needed rest ahead of the mammouth journey.

Yangshou in the whole has just made me realise I am really shit at anything involving hand eye coordination and “the outdoors” But thrown myself into everything regardless. Great company and trying to find comedy in the horror is deffo helping.

Big shout out to Ramsay, Alex and The Dragon Trip crew who really have achieved the impossible though with this tour. If one thing is abundantly clear it’s that organising anything in China is a logistical nightmare. None of this would have been possible to do alone. So sterling job lads!

But for now, maybe Chendu will be more my scene! Bring on the pandas! Just that small matter of a 25.5hr night train to survive first!!!!! Xx

Casual 4 hour hop over to Hong Kong was next on the list for Claire and I. Plane full of comedy as always, large array of people coughing in our faces ala Anne from Little Britain #computersaysno and our true favourite, woman in front of Claire who was the spitting image of Little Jimmy Cranky #butasian

Greeted at airport by woman with what looked like a giant barcode scanner from Sainsburys randomly pointing it at people and checking the temperate of their heads?! Not sure what happened to those who failed to have a head within required airport temperature range?! I would not have faired well if the same had been done in sweaty Singapore or KL where my melted face made me look like I was 85% tomato #burntforeheadalert

Also thrust a leaflet about the importance of only using legal transportation and not to be tempted to take unlicensed taxis. Not immediately obvious from the image that it wasn’t in fact a leaflet about importance of not letting Daley Thompson drive your cab?

Arrived at Bishop Lei International House after ridiculous wait for airport shuttle bus. Took the windy streets up the Mid Levels Hong Kong and checked in. Verdict: 4 days in the Shangri La was more than enough to realise we prefer 5 star travel! Missing smell of lemongrass in lobby (more a smell of actual grass?!) and room on the small side, but important to acclimatise to real life again ahead of 26 days backpacking around China.

Wandered the streets after it became blatantly obvious the Concierge was just a man with a badge and no actual knowledge of the area or helpful tips. Not even sure he even worked there!?! Went in search of dinner and had some traditional Asian fare in a cafe near Central station, packed with locals which is always a good sign.

 

Top tip 101 of Hong Kong: no one believes in queueing! It is literally every man for himself. Decided to stop getting annoyed at the rudeness, tutting loudly and being all round English and adopt if you can’t beat em join em approach. Got a feeling same will be true of China. Will be interesting.

Spent Saturday doing what all people who had just 2 short days to explore an entire metropolitan city would do…go to Disneyland. Hong Kong marks the 4th of 5 worldwide Disneylands I have visited, and with Anaheim, California the final stop of my adventure it was a must. Pretty sure 5/5 will make me an honorary member of the Mickey Mouse club or something. #alifenotwasted

 

Was an amazing, magical day as always! Arrived for Park opening as advised it gets crazy busy. Had 3 hours of bliss wondering with little to no queues before the bulk of people arrived.

Castle is hands down the worst I have ever seen. Looked like a model village! Thought it was perspective at first but actually titchy!

The park isnt full of big thrill rides, but we were expecting this courtesy of a wonderful Tripadvisor post from “Willia34USA” Who had outlined there are no rides there which are “balls to the wall insane”…………

Some fun new things including Stitch Encounter where stitch interacts with the audience. Claire got hit on (again) by him but when he found out she had a boyfriend agreed to settle for me instead #sloppyseconds #gotnodisneyaliengame

The whole park can be easily done in a day, went on everything that was open, saw some shows, went on some rides again, ate overpriced processed foods and generally lived the 5 year old dream #culturevultures #highbrowdayout #allwhilstinMinnieears

Watched the fireworks and headed home after walking 10.5 miles and in the spirit of embracing cultures and trying different foods we went to maccy ds and had a fillet-o-fish as we’ve never had one and always wondered! Ha! #branchingout #whatholudaysareallabout

Spent Sunday honouring the ancient tradition of dim sum brunch. Headed to the world famous Maxims Palace at City Hall. Adoreable inside, if slightly “faded glamour”, traditional dim sum carts are still pushed around the dining room and you select from each. If you can ignore the air of hospital dinner trolly / asian meals on wheels about it, it’s fun. Food was yummy but in all honesty I think we were both expecting to be blown away…I think you forget living in such a varied colourful city like London you’re lucky to have so many excellent versions of international cuisines right on your doorstep.

Wandered the famous “Ladies Market” over the bay on Kowloon, got a few more bargains and did some more deals on things we didn’t really need, but all part of the fun.

Headed to the harbour in desperate search of hallowed skyline snaps but thwarted yet gain by the ridiculous fog that has shrouded the city ever since we arrived. You can’t see the tops of skyscrapers or even the end of the road in front of you! Such a shame as that famous iconic skyline is the first image you conjure up when thinking of Hong Kong! Will have to admit defeat this time and hope for a miracle when I pass back through here after The Dragon Trip ends.

Said a fond farewell to Claire who has been the perfect travel companion over the past couple of weeks and I will be sorry to see her go. Safe flight chef and I shall look forward to seeing you when I’m home!

But now all back packed up and headed to the next and third chapter. Since everything is blocked behind the infamous “great firewall” not sure when next update will surface. Regardless, China here I come!! Xx

 

Roll up, roll up…new candidate for worst journey of the entire trip (including Melbourne death flight) courtesy of horrendous cab driver. Can only imagine he learnt to drive from bumper cars or Stevie Wonder! Cab looked like a tin can. So glad there were 2 of us…just to prove it actually happened and to have someone to hug when we survived and arrived at lobby!

Walked into Shangri La hotel…all was well. This hotel is beyond beautiful! Scent of fresh lemongrass everywhere, amazing staff and service. Upgraded to club lounge level and it was amazing. Headed to the lounge for afternoon tea canapés and cocktails served daily. Food was beautiful gin tasted all the sweeter as I felt we’d earned it after the journey!

Spent the afternoon living the life of true luxury! We went for a night time swim in the pool under the lights of the iconic Petronas Towers, watched the lightshow at the KL telecom tower from the water! Sauna, steam room, jacuzzi and one seriously good night’s sleep in our club room…..just how I like to “backpack”! #glampackers #imtechnicallyunemployed

Spent the Wednesday wandering the streets…KL is not a city designed for pedestrians! Not really any pavements at all, or traffic laws, or logic……or humanity! Literally just close your eyes, step out into the road and hope for the best!!! Another seriously sweaty day! Visited 3 of the top 10 attractions according to guidebook…did it all within an hour…all soulless shopping malls. Weird array of shops as demonstrated by Claire below.

We went for lunch at famous hawker market on ground floor of Lot 10, at “famous ducking”….verdict: was “ducking” gross…so disappointing. Maybe in contrast to great food in Singapore was always going to be a let down.

We headed back to hotel to chill in the lounge and ventured out to the markets in the evening. Armed with our inherent bargaining skills (thanks dad!) we wheeled, dealed and haggled our way to some great purchases. Got “genuine” Kate Spade & Longchamp handbags, “designer” prada purse and a few other bits and bobs for a grand total of £25. Result. Our favourite stall was one where we bought our Ray Ban and Fendi sunglasses, owned by a fabulous transvestite man in a pink dress. Colourful place full of all the wonderful people he world has to offer. Bloody marvellous! Took our haul back to 5 star hotel and pretended it was all genuine!!!!!

Took a trip to the iconic Petronas Towers on Thursday. Classic low angle selfies (vetoed the ones where we have 4 chins each! #unflatteringanglealert) and pottered in yet another shopping mall!!!

We were hit by wall of screaming teenagers once we got inside, so we went over to investigate. Turns out it was South Korean actor and heartthrob Lee Kwan Soo (?!?!) making an appearance at the mall to promote the Samsung Galaxy S7….people screaming, fainting, generally loosing their shit….fans told by tannoy not to request signing of any body parts again?!?!

Went to KL Tower revolving restaurant, by expert recommendation of Mr Wall…since he excercises all round impeccable taste in all aspects of his life I was expecting big things. I am delighted to say it was lovely, well done Steve! Just a shame we had such a foggy day…and they insisted on playing christmas songs for the first 10 minutes! Entertainment picked up when the live band started, 2 guys singing with a piano and sax; one was the spitting image of Wolf from Gladiators but had an insanely good voice, just like Lionel Richie. Pretty remarkable! Nice views and great to watch the city turn from day to night.

We headed back to the Petronas Towers this evening to see them all sparkly and lit up. They really are impressive. Took some more snaps and snaked our way past “selfie stick, selfie stick for you pretty ladies” blokes who seem to be everywhere!

 

Returned to the hotel to say bon voyage to our beloved lounge….cheers Horizon Club, you have been good to us! We will miss you..and all the gin!

General verdict of KL is that it’s all little bit shit to be honest. Glad we have the gorgeous hotel to make it – a nice few days pit stop mid trip. Getting really excited for Hong Kong tomorrow and final few days of peace before carnage of The Dragon Trip begins on Monday.

 

My driver from Changi airport to the city was Lau, we listened to David Soul and The Osmonds for the entire journey. He had 1 car sticker on the whole cab, declaring his love for a specific brand of 3 ply tissues….it was weird!

First introduction to driving in Singapore and I can safely say is the closest I will ever come to being in a real life version of Mario Kart. Motorists seem unable to ever let their speed drop below 80mph instead weaving into free spaces and cutting across lanes at high speed. Looked out the window half expecting Bowser and Princess Peach to cut us up on the inside any minute!!! Clung to my St Christopher and longed for the hotel.

Met beloved chef, who was there to greet me with open arms as I pulled up despite her 13 odd hour journey. What a hero. Caught up on all the news and headed to swanky suite for much needed sleep. Great to have her in town for the next 10 days! Really lovely bonus compared to what would’ve been life on my larry.

Went to Botanical Gardens on day 1, classic Claire fell straight into stereotype of being an Asian babe yet again on the walk there, this time getting cat called by the security guards outside Interpol HQ….’Interpull’ more like!!! Did a lot of walking and a whole lot of sweating. The heat here is sticky and gross, much like my general appearance after 5 minutes of being outside. Spent the day being so shiny I think Claire could literally see her reflection in my forehead! (Andy P would’ve been so impressed Frances!!) #heightofglamour #cantunderstandwhyimsingle

Awesome evening trip to The Night Safari, which is essentially part of Singapore zoo which opens at nighttime. Badged as a fun filled attraction for all the family…actual verdict: absolutely terrifying! We decided to beat the queue for the tram tour round the park (#disneyveterans #notamateurs) and do the walking tours first and let the crazy queues die down. Would’ve been fine except we were literally the only people waking the trails….in pitch black…. on our own. Really felt at one with Alan Parish…much as i LOVE jumanji, I have no real desire to re-enact it.

Fair to say we are both still traumatised by a terrifying flying squirrel dive bomb attack and legitimately didn’t think we’d escape the swarm of bats! Cries of “I don’t like it….” from Claire followed by screams when we thought we saw an escaped animal run by our feet….on closer inspection it turned out to be a leaf, but it was touch and go for a while there!

We decided to man up and solider on in spite of terror and the fact that literally everything in the zoo was something which was trying to kill us. In all seriousness we saw loads of weird and wonderful animals which was fascinating. Got less confident as it got darker and creepier with indeterminate shrieking sounds from all angles. Decided to return to safety and take the tram ride when harrowing screach prompted Claire to actually say “oh god, do you think they have a dinosaur here”….!!! Was a really great evening out and a must do if you come to Singapore.

Had a chilled morning soaking up the suite life of our amazing hotel, so nice to have a stint in pure luxury before return to the real world of backpack wanker-dom. Headed out for touristy afternoon of sightseeing, bucketed it down and got drenched (again!) at The Gardens by the Bay at the Marina.

Persevered in raincoats and under Brollys, Singaporeans and others running for shelter, us and other English people pottering about the place quite happily. Rain no worse than you’d get every time you leave the house during an average July…bouncing off the pavement and making everything generally more miserable than necessary, slice of home whilst away!

 

We walked for AGES, took comedy pics with the iconic ‘Merlion’ at the Marina front and watched the sunset change over the skyline.

Feet burnimg from the inside, we headed to ‘Palm Beach on Sands’ famed Singaporean seafood hotspot to try Singapore’s national dish and finest delicacy, Chilli Crab. Told there would be over an hour wait for a table!! I could’ve cried…it’s a brave man who stands between a hungry woman and food!! I had no choice but to get all Bromley on him and protest we’d walked for hours and could he check the tables again….30 seconds later…a table on the coveted harbour front veranda for 2 miraculously appeared! #paystocomplain

The array of implements on the table to assist with shelling the Crab looked more like something out of the 50 shades trilogy!! But complete with glamorous bibs we were ready to tuck in….

 

About 4 seconds after it arrived we both realised we had no idea what we were doing!! No choice but to just muddle our way through, slowly but surely. Interesting to see other Asian diners were getting help with shelling their’s, so i can only imagine our attempt was so hilarious we were providing an involuntary “dinner and show” element for other diners and thus they revelled in letting us struggle! Whilst not a dish designed for hungry people who have been walking in the rain for hours, it was so so delicious. Easily one of the nicest meals I’ve had since I left home. And a perfect setting right on the Marina front to enjoy it in.

We rounded off our last day by reuniting the true ‘chef triumvirate’ by meeting up with Harriet! A bronzed vision in the Lobby we said our hellos, saw her ‘Henna foot’ from her week in India and headed out to a hilarious morning at Haw Par Villa.

Some of you may have read the recent article about this place, essentially a terrifying ‘theme park’ where Singaporean parents take their children to traumatise them into obeying rules. A series of hideous resin scenes depict specific fates for those who lie, don’t respect their elders and default on rent?!?!

 

After being scarred for life, we had a great afternoon wandering Clarke and Boat Quay, catching up on news and sweating profusely.

Ended our final afternoon with the pièce de résistance of tourist activities, a Singapore Sling at the world famous Raffles Hotel.

Yes it was touristy and we had to forfeit a kidney to cover the bill, but it was bloody delicious! Glamour slightly tarnished by lone pigeon wandering inside the bar, shades of being at the Pumpkin cafe at London bridge station…eating all the peanut shells which are traditionally just thrown on the floor. Harriet and I getting stuck right into making a mess, Claire cautiously sliding the shells onto the floor as if she was going to get in trouble (“i’m sorry, but this just doesn’t feel right”)! Standard!

Perfect few days in perfect company has been a great start to the Asian leg of the trip. Currently rinsing the free mini bar, watching crap asian TV and trying to distract ourselves from inevitable looming task of packing before heading to Malaysia in the morning! Xx