Finally checked out of the Hostel, praise *insert deity of choice here*!!! Officially en route to the Gold Coast. Met Mary from Cheshunt on way to airport turns out she is the mother in law and grandmother of X Factor living legends: Stavros Flatley! So impressed. She said they’re now big in China, promised to look out for them performing when I arrive.

Toddy picked me up when I arrived in what I’m sure John Travolta would refer to as a “Pussy Wagon”…everyone else would just assume he’s also in the midst of a quarter life crisis! And so complete with massive chavvy spoiler, its beyond ridiculous furry seats and giant exhaust we sped off for Brunch and an amazing afternoon visit to the Currumbin Wildlife Centre.

Best afternoon you can have on the Gold Coast surely! We had a hilarious day. We decided to be high rollers and do the Segway tour of the park! Anyone who knows me will know that an unpredictable motorised vehicle which relies on balance, and me is a shocking combo! After signing the waiver (!!!) I was pretty resigned to that fact that people would have to attend my funeral knowing that I had pegged it falling into a ravine and being crushed by a segway! Not the glamorous departure I’d hoped for! Fear not aided by arriving late for the safety briefing!!

After expecting to emulate Brendan from Coach Trip the whole way round (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ekPNEekNKck) I nervously set off and what do you know, a few practice runs and Steve the guide described me as a natural. Maybe I’ve found my career path after all.

Highlights included a cuddle with a real life KOALA

And Toddy’s face when he saw the size of the balls on this Kangaroo!!!

Headed back to see Toddy and housemate Mike’s new bachelor pad…beyond ridiculous views! So lucky to be crashing here, and so grateful to sleep in a bed that didn’t have an obnoxious French man above it!!! You guys are amazing.

Bummed about the flat in the evening whilst Toddy was being a worker bee, no make up, pjs, generally dishevelled, cue arrival of housemate Mike,who Toddy neglected to mention was also ridiculously attractive. Cheers Toddy! Yet another fail and testament to why I should not be allowed to ever be seen without make up! Had a beer in a bid to hope my wit and charm would detract from my awful blotchy face. Not convinced! First impressions are a bitch!

Tuesday was a wash out literally and proverbially. Rain forecast for my whole visit so we had another awesome brunch and went to check out the Jellurgal aboriginal Centre. Turns out it the entrance centre was also the entire thing, Toddy dug deep to learn about the rich history of the aboriginal people, woman behind the counter was having none of it. We asked to do the guided tour, she said they only go on Thursdays but we could do our own walk. Highlights identified were the Rock pile and a 4000 year old rubbish dump……30 minute hike into the cliff side and the heavens opened. I’m talking biblical rain! Like standing in a shower for 20 minutes in your clothes. Hilarious for the first 2 minutes, not so much for the 15 minute climb down to the car!

Big night out wednesday decended into chaos v.quickly after Mike decided the only thing the party was missing was White Russians. Also turns out shots of Kalua are a thing?! Went into Surfers Paradise for ‘Brazilian night’, pretty much just Oceana with ozzies. Did shots of Patron (Stephanie Miller you literally ruined my life by teaching me about this!) and no one is really sure what happened after that. Toddy spent the next day in delighting at my drunk attempt to order a pizza at 4am and then me aggressively yelling for mayonnaise shortly after!?!?

 

Went to visit lovely Amy for the day in Brisbane so she could show me the sights. So nice to see ger and get some sunshine.  Went for coffee and cake. Got acosted by a weird old bloke who said “I love it up here, looking down from the balcony, no one can tell you’re perving on them….which I am”…..we made our excuses and left!!!

Wandered along their equivalent of the Southbank. Latest crap celeb spot, Dr Michael Moseley and his wife!

Had a perfect girly day of chilling in the sun, drinking wine, eating to much and reminiscing about Sydney fun. She’s going to smash life in Brisbane and I’m so happy for her….I’ll probably just miss her every day though! Ha. Go get ’em you absolute babe.

Made the trip back to the swanky flat and packed my stuff for round 3, an amazing flight down to Melbourne to see one of my oldest and dearest friends! I’m on my way Mr & Mrs Thomas! And I am SO EXCITED to see you. xxx