Flight down to Queenstown from Auckland was so beautiful. Thanks Crouch for the great tip on securing a window seat as the views were amazing on the 2hr flight here.

Lake Wakatipu, which anchors the centre of town, is majestic. It’s so incredibly scenic and beautiful. It doesn’t look like it’s real. The water is so enticingly blue and twinkly in the autumnal April sunshine.

Day 1 arrival was around 6 pm, so once I’d navigated the bus network, Instagram vs. reality strikes with actual eve consisting of room service, washing, and more Khardashians for me!

Day 2 was was the start of exploring a very chilly Queenstown, bought a hat and gloves as first stop, it’s freezing versus the north. Unprepared and optimistic as ever.

Wandered the shops and lanes to get my bearings. Super cute little alpine villagey feel. It’s almost artificial but really lovely town with lovely people. Can see why this place will swarm with skiers when the snow rolls through in a couple months time.

Headed to famed “Ferg Row” in search of lunchtime goods. Fergburger is Queenstown’s most famous institution and has since been joined happily by Ferg Bar, Ferg Baker (…..Ferg candlestick maker?!?!) And Ferg Gelato. I will, of course, try all whilst here but plumped for a lunchtime Pie (for my research) and a Boston Cream doughnut…their best seller. Just a massive doughnut stuffed full of fresh cream. Tasty, but neither blew my mind. Despite the most scenic lunch I’ve had in a long time. Pie Rolla of Auckland still takes the crown, many more pies to discover. I will dutifully accept the artery restricting challenge!

I’ll tackle Ferg Burger later in the week…

My casual day of getting my bearings turned into 16,000 steps and 12 hours of wandering and adventures.

Headed up to the Sky Line cable car for epic views at Bob’s Peak, out over the lake and the Remarkables mountains.

This is also where I took on the Queenstown Luge. Established in 1967, the Luge is sort’ve like Mario Kart live and was ace!! Did my best Bowser, flying round the bends on each of the different tracks and cutting up families with slow kids on the inside. My F1 masterclass has taught me well. Took an array of comedy snaps and got told to slow down by the staff working at the end…..felt like the IT guy in the office. Delighted!

Friday promised another day of sun, so I crossed my fingers and plumped for my Milford Sound trip that day.

600km trip!! That’s over 370 miles. In a day! 13hrs. Absolute beast of a one-day trip. But needs must given that I didn’t fancy the solo drive, and the light aircraft flight there and back was the same as my flight to get here from London!!

Awful Canadian girl with feet on seats made no effort to accommodate me being sat next to her. Driver had to ask her to move, she eye rolled and tutted, and I thought, what a joyous companion for the 13-hour trip!

We were a couple short so I asked if I could move to a window seat over the aisle which the driver obliged…full bus of 60 collecting more people en route so enjoyed the peace and space for now.

Joined at next stop by gorgeous French Marc from Brittany (the handsome Marc’s are always Marc with a C) sucks to be you Canadian dickhead lady. She was joined by loud leaning-over-her-to-look-out-window chinese tourist, with no concept of personal space. Aint karma a bitch eh! Marc however, was painfully charming and good company on the very long drive to Milford sound, happy to do my duty to help practice his english for a few hours. It’s a hard life…..

Watched the weather go from brilliant sunshine to horrendous rain and fog. Brought back harrowing memories of leg break bridge visit, the visibility was that bad. But persevered and waited in the rain for the boat.

The Sounds themselves were beautiful and very scenic and picturesque. Like Jurassic Park set at sea.

Can’t help but feel we really didn’t get lucky with the weather and think they would’ve been all the more beautiful on a clear day. Did mean the bonus was lots of waterfalls which only appear when rainy. So that was a nice addition for sure.

Mildly obsessed by couple who were content creators on boat. Set up a full tripod camera and recording equipment for “candid” intricately posed shots. He had reflective visor sunglasses like he was in a Yeezy ad, and she had inflatable everything. Mesmerising. Made mental note to cling to her in case of capsize.

I did ask him to take my pic, and he didn’t disappoint with framing and somehow making my phone camera do stuff I didn’t know it could do.

Unsure about “glass roof coach” being much of a bonus on the rainy drive down, but when night fell (yes it really was that long a journey!!) we were treated to a bonus evening display of some of the most incredible stars I’ve ever seen!

I’ve only ever seen clearer stellar stuffed skies over the Utah desert on my last big travel trip, so it was so amazing to see the sky sans light pollution. Utterly gorgeous.

I absolutely love the night sky, am always dragging people outside to look up, setting alarms for silly hours in hopes of a glimpse of planets or comets or jumping up after 1hr in bed and getting fully dressed in the middle of the night to drive to a golf club car park (no not like that) to catch a glimpse of when the Northern Lights made it to bloody Bromley!!! Such a treat to be in this hemisphere not under the glare of the luminous lights of London town (and the pollution of the car garage on the street near my place) obscuring all the majesty.

Well-earned rest before another day stuffed full of sun in the south. So did what any sane person decided to do last min…jumped off a cliff.

With apologies to the Thurlow Clan, who I assured would not make rash decisions, but this was spontaneous much like my Skydive in Aus, and I figured life’s short and I’m getting old. Plus, the word on the street is the All Blacks team frequent in pre season, so it was worth a try, eh…

As expected, it was completely and utterly bum squeakingly incredible. Dubbed as the world’s number 1 Canyon Swing, given it was invented right here in Queenstown, it towered at a 109m drop with a heartstopping 60m free fall start.

I was somewhat unsurprised to discover I was the only person on my trip. I ended up with a private tour, which was great fun, but did mean no one else about for moral support (or a test run!!) Did, however, mean no time to think about what I was doing and just jumped!!! Ha

So glad i did it as I was truly treated to incredible views throughout the canyon and some once in a lifetime under the chin Go Pro footage to treasure (check instagram for the proof!)….

Got a Fergburger in celebration. 50-minute wait but a great bloody burger. Went for the Ferg Duluxe classic with cheese, and it was delish. Maybe because of the anticipation and deprivation, but really yum all the same.

Toasted a satisfyingly basic bitch Queenstown day complete – with required adrenelin junkie – junk food, craft beer triumvirate achieved.

Bring on the weekend x