A full on trip so far, so a chill day was essential.

Had a lazy morning before heading into Auckland for an Easter Monday afternoon catching up with Siobhan (the gorgeous childhood pal of everyone’s fav, Katy Rashbrook) who moved over here in 2022 for pastures new.

I have been stealing Katy’s friends since 2007 and am yet to meet one who isn’t a complete and utter hun. Siobhan, of course, no exception! We had such a glorious afternoon of wandering Viaduct Harbour, exploring a new part of town and drinking all the Pinot Gris (not a kiwi abbreviation for Pinot Grigio…who knew!)

The slight fail of the day was that we neglected to remember we are now mid-30s and can not handle the good old days of day-drinking like we could 10 years ago! 3 bottles of wine, several cocktails, no food all day and hours of al fresco sunshine later….and i’m staring into the porcelain bowl of dreams praying for forgiveness!

Sincerest apologies to people who had to watch us drunkenly eat burgers at 10pm when we finally thought food might be a good shout… picture a reenactment of that David Hasslehoff shame video, but worse!

We nevertheless did a great job of putting the world to rights and discussed next stops, life plans, and how incredibly lucky we are to have a truly one of a kind friend like Katy. Thanks for the glorious company pal, look forward to being reunited for Rash’s big day come November.

Rolled in laaaate and stared into the abyss whilst contemplating life choices and survival tactics when I remembered my pre booked Waiheke Island Vineyard tour the next day. Oh my Christ! Alarm in 6 hours for an entire day of wine tasting and the thought of it, truly harrowing!

With no choice but hair of the dog, I made my way to the Waiheke ferry and sailed the 40 mins over the bay. Thankfully for my hungover head, this place is like heaven on earth! Pristine waters, blue skies, sundrenched vineyards at every turn (vom), and the nicest friendliest people around.

Onny was our vineyard tour guide, and much to my bonus delight, the spitting image of Dave Grohl.

He was a dream to show us around the island. He was born on Waiheke (a true Waihetian) and is raising his family here. Why you’d chose to do that literally anywhere else than here if you could, I have no idea. It’s beyond beautiful, and pics don’t do it justice.

We bonded over the 15yrs he spend in Dulwich and Brixton (of course he did!) And chatted about how he was one of the pioneering Kiwis to set up the infamous Volcano Coffee works on Ferndale Road and part of bringing the small-batch roasted coffee revolution to London in the early 2000s. Kind’ve a big deal in the coffee world and living his best life back here post covid.

The group was a lovely crew, two Aussie traveller girls, two 20 somethings from Lapland, and a married retired farming couple from Melbourne. Really enjoying 1 day tours and being able to meet people, share their company for the day but still have time and space to do my own thing assides. Was right to trust my judgement on that.

We visited 4 wineries. The first was Mudbrick Vinryard for amazing views and a breakfast tasting to get us under way (12 o’clock somewhere, eh!). The next stop was the super cute Postage Stamp Vineyard, initially one of the smallest, but after acquiring Obsidian vineyards a couple of years ago, expanded their empire massively.

Then it was onto Wild Vineyards for a 3-glass tasting and a lovely al fresco lunch. Plumped for Lamb (when in Rome…./Waiheke)

We finished the day at Batch for highest views across the island. Super picturesque. Met 2 girls from Romford on their gap year and bonded over jet lag and how gorgeous it is here.

Onny made time for us to stop at the beach. Blissful kms of sun sea sand and seashells for the shelf at home. So pristine and picturesque. Dipped my toes in the ocean as is tradition (and can never resist) – the perfect end to a really dreamy day.

Cheers to you, Onny. I’ll grab a double espresso in your honour next time i’m Brixton bound.

I took the optional chance to wander Waiheke town after and did a solo sunset stroll back to the ferry via Island Gelato – I am my fathers daughter – for ice cream of dreams and a potter in the cute boutique artisan shops of the island.

A quick ferry back to Auckland as darkness rolled in and time to think back on a lovely first leg in Nz. What a place this is! Early night before making the pilgrimage down to the South Island in the morning.

Next stop – Queenstown! New Zealand’s thrill seeking adventure capital, and I fear I feel some poor life choices coming on! x

5am alarm a bit of a shocker, but in keeping with jet lag body clock somewhat so managed to make the tour bus pick-up unscathed.

Boarded the bus for a full-on day of being my best Bilbo and saw the sunrise on the drive down.

The group was a bit dry and not mega chatty so obviously I was their worst nightmare at 6am. Read the room and kept self to self for most part but nice to be around a crew for something like today all the same.

That was, of course, except for Paul… who chose to sit next to me….!

Paul was a holistic sports therapist and chinese medicine expert transitioning to be a horse physio (…of course you are?!?) But currently on tour as a private therapy specialist with a mysterious musician that was talked around excessively but never outright. Between the shady lines, i’m guessing Dua Lipa, as I’m not sure who else has a 53 date European tour coming up, has been in Nz and is wanky enough to need a chinese medicinal specilaist on hand at all times….(though the level of discretion you’dve thought it was Cher or someone actually good). Gunna be a long drive….

Jamie our tour guide was the sweetest guy. Scripted facts made a few repeat appearances thanks to 6hrs driving across the day – “not many people know you can learn to drive on a farm aged 12″…yeah we do though Jamie love cos you told us an hour ago. I was up at 5 though, so lord knows when he started his day, so he’s forgiven.

Arrived at a sun-drenched Hobbiton around 9am and after a scooch around Shires Rest cafe boarded our big green 9.20 tour bus to head into the “village”.

The big bus is where I met the highest concentration of neurodiverse men in one place at one time (short only of my online dating DMs of course!) Many of whom had purchased Legolas ears to wear from the gift shop, god bless their wholesome, enthusiast hearts. One guy had also bought his one ring to rule them all and wanted my help with an array of scenic pics along route. I lovingly obliged whilst he looked terrified at the prospect of being close to a woman. Actual hand shaking, passing me his phone. Nice to know I still have the ability to strike fear into the heart of a grown man buried in there somewhere…(never know when it might be useful)…An enlightening day was had all round!

He also gave me extensive tips about where (fictional dragon) Smaug lived and other cos-play location tours you can do across New Zealand- nodded and smiled and feigned interest all the while thinking – I’m absolutely not gunna go babe but thanks, you’re one of life’s good humans. 

The recently opened Hobbit Hole experience was a lovely little bonus, however, with the opportunity to actually go inside a hobbit home and explore. Really immersive and I was transported straight back to that particularly boring December day amidst the “Christmas gooch” period (when you’re 90% cheese and time and dates are just a forgotten concept) where I completed the marathon of all 3 films in one sitting. 9hrs 27 mins of life I’m sure i could’ve used more wisely in hindsight…but it was that or Mrs Browns Boys special, so needs must!

Sat by the fire in Bilbos chair, took comedy snaps at the dinner table, and like any South londoner, I looked for sneaky “souvenirs” that weren’t glued down…

Our guide was really hard to understand (not an excellent trait when your literal job is to describe and explain events of the day to 30+ people) but shared some good facts about the films and how Peter Jackson lovingly ruled with an iron fist across the set. All elements from sprawling landscape scenes to artificial leaves on artificial trees needing expert and personal scrutiny before being committed to reel. You can see why they’re so proud of the body of work and him as their chief directorial export (along with Taika Waititi who is obviously 2nd place favourite after his truly appalling decision to marry Rita Ora in 2022)

I got asked by guide if “you could just act out this famous scene and be Bilbo please” – cue me running like a loon out the Shire quoting “I’m going on an adventure” – Paul recorded the whole thing unsolicited. (Coming to a LOTR only fans near you…)

Otherwise, the tour was ace and culminated at the Green Dragon Inn for a cold one. I tried the exclusive black hobbit stout…lads lads lads “Split the G” like a total legend etc (some commentary embellished for the blog) and we recouped at the bus to share views on a great morning.

There’s a new epic coming next year, which will be following the rise of Sméagol and his alter ego Gollum, so expect Hobbiton to go from strength to strength if they know what’s good for them.

It really was a blissful picture-perfect day of brilliant sunshine after the dramas of the storms of the last few days. A real highlight of Auckland so far, and no doubt this leg of the journey for sure.

Shame the same can’t be said hugely for part two, Waitomo Gloworm Caves, which paled in comparison to the mornings epic adventure. Lovely to learn some Maori traditional history, but the caves themselves are a little underwhelming. The rule of “it’s culturally not allowed to take photos inside only at the cave entrance”, felt a bit like a spin to ensure actual scenes don’t contest their very slick and very over exposed marketing images which show the roof majestically alight with glow worms. I’d more accurately describe it as an a bit of a budget Santa’s Grotto, ala Bromley shopping centre, but a fun bonus to the day, which was all about hobbits anyway.

Only a couple of days left of Auckland exploring before I venture down south, looking forward to the next few days of fun.

Til soon x

Travel day was a bit of a beast…shorter dubai leg oddly proving to be the worst thanks to world’s loudest family in row in front. Fascinated that two small children could scream at the tv screen for almost 6hrs straight. Exceptional contraceptive advice – thoughts are with all parent readers at this time. Sought solice in rewatching series 12 of Curb your Enthusiam and never felt more Larry in my life.

Result on the 16hr Nz leg, half empty plane (who’s flying dubai to nz on a random tuesday after all!) and got an entire row to myself! Could stretch the legs out, cry at “The Wild Robot” undisturbed, and even got some sleep. Company was courtesy of the lovely Fau, in front, who bizarrely had been sat next to me on leg 1! Swapped horror stories of hideous first leg and talked tales of adventure. Hope to catch up later in the trip as she will be travelling the country too. Swapped Instagrams in true millennial style and waved bye for now. God speed beautiful lady. Hope to catch you soon.

Arrived in Auckland to tropical cyclone Tam, who has decided to grace the city with its presence pretty much til I leave next week. Never mind free blow dry waiting for the airport bus, I was nearly decapitated at the stop! Mental scenes and unsure what will mean for the week ahead. But glad to be on solid earth and only the small matter of trying to stay awake for another 13hrs to contest with!

Arrived at lovely apartment hotel opposite Albert Park in the CBD district and after testing Claire’s excellent scientific beat the jet lag theory (staring at brightest part of the sky in outside space for 15 mins to reset circadian rtythm) me and my partially burned retinas wandered the hills around downtown. As beloved Petula Clarke always says “you can always go, Downtown” so I “listened to music of the traffic in the city” for a bit, got ice cream, because I might be on the other side of the world but it’s always time for ice cream! And decided booze was going to be my friend in my one woman mission to stay awake.

To the Sky Tower!

Given the dogshit weather predictions, thought given a clearish day, the Sky Tower was a good shout. $40 minimum spend at window seat of scenic bar on level 51 or $45 viewing platform ticket for level 52 a no brainer. Bring on the gin! It’s a champagne bar up there so I plumped for a Kir Royale, as I made an important promise to a special pal to keep drinking these around the world for the both of us, plus I’m closer to cheers him when I’m 328m high. Miss you always, Chris.

The swaying at the top in the storm was no joke! Like being at sea but upsettingly high and mid cyclone. Assured of safety and clung to the table hoping for the best. Charming barman Isaac let me through the emergency exit for a free loop round the viewing decks at level 52 and 53 as all the city lights were coming on and watched Auckland fade in twinkly speckled darkness – cheers to him, a lovely bonus for a very jet lagged lady.

The next few days were a mash up of dodging the rain and making the most of activities around the city, having diverted out of town adventures to early next week when the weather (hopefully!) improves.

In idiotic news, i’d sort’ve forgot Easter was a universal concept so had to adapt to loads being closed for most of the weekend and accept that a huge chunk of people leave the city for the long weekend. I plumped for a trip to The Easter Show on Good Friday as one of the few things advertised as running in town. Toloa from Samoa (i know!) was my Uber driver to Auckland Showgrounds. Heavy contender for worlds nicest man, 78 and very wise. Reminded me of the smiley, wrinkled Grandmother in Coco, entertained with stories of learning English and his Samoan roots on the drive. Best part about travel for me is undoubtedly the people you meet along the way.

Turns out the Easter show is utterly terrible! Imagine an old, grubby car park carnie fair which looks baron and unsafe at the same time. I was expecting Ricky Baker pop out at any moment and scam me into losing cash on hook a duck.

Though tragic petting zoo attraction did feature this guy…

Wandered politely for less than half hour, before resorting to a “what’s nearby, Google” salvage mission.

Answer: Cornwall park and the One Tree Hill summit.

So I took full advantage of break in the rain and the 12 steps of yesterday and headed for a lovely walk round this gorgeous, sprawling city park and decided to tackle the summit hike. Very mini, albeit pretty vertical, 1hr hike through the park and up, but a lovely scenic one promising great views across Auckland.

Wind very much at my front but grateful of the breeze. Made it to the top with all the grace of a weezing bull mastiff and enjoyed the views. It was 91% humidity on Good Friday, but perservered as figured jesus went through worse…and said a quiet prayer for my poor hair. It’s bringing back sweaty upper lip alert memories of Singapore travels so trying to maintain what decorum I can is proving tricky. Not ideal for bring back 6ft 5 handsome kiwi man in suitcase plan!

Really lovely walk through Cornwall park after, saw just some of the sheep that outbumber people 5 to 1 here in New Zealand, the native tree arboretum, and some good old fresh air in my lungs. Did wonders to perk me up after travel lag and am glad I made the effort to go.

Invited out by some lads I met in the lift for Good Friday drinks (given windswept state of me not only nice but a miracle!), but massively lagged by the evenings still and the thought of going OUT at 10.30pm was too much for day 3, so I antisociallly ate popcorn in my apartment and watched the Property Brothers #tripofalifetime

My religious experience of the weekend was courtesy of a Steak, Stout and Cheese pie at Pie Rolla. Nz know how to do Pies and I’d heard rumblings of this place before I even arrived in Auckland. So I made the pilgrimage to a newer part of town in search of the goods. And boy did it not disappoint. Quick shout out to my hatred of viral food locations which led to me having to eat an entire pie at 11am before they sold out! Opened at 8am. Whoever is eating a steak pie at 8am should be given some sort of role with  political influence, they’re doing life better than us. Simple as.

I will be dreaming of that pie for a long time. ..will have to see if the South Island cities can match up…for scientific research purposes of course.

Next stop was a visit to Rugby Mecca, Eden park for their famed stadium tour and a glimpse into All Blacks life. And because I am my father’s daughter this was a must on the Auckland list.

Excellent tour conducted by John, a Mount Eden local who has been going to games at Eden Park since 1963. Sat at Dan Carter’s dressing room locker, managed to touch the hallowed turf and left stuffed full of knowledge about the stadium. A really brilliant 90 minutes of behind the scenes wandering and peering into a slice of rugby (and cricketing) history.

Proudly navigated the Auckland public bus system back to the CBD district and swung by the Auckland Art Gallery to end the day #Highbrow #cultured #sorainy #itwasinsideandfree

Had a brief Happy Easter facetime with the family as I was going to bed and they were having 11am coffee and hot cross buns. Then it was a mouthful of mini eggs and bed before a 5am alarm for Hobbiton tomorrow.

Bring on The Shire!

Diary of quarter life crisis makes it’s joyous return.

Firstly, you’re welcome.

Secondly….I know what you’re thinking…quarter life!? But we’re gunna ignore that whilst I confidently project I will live to 140. Plus pretty sure Diary of Mid Life Crisis.com would’ve been taken and also make me sound like an insufferable male podcast movement (Jk…no men with podcast equipment also have the level of self awareness to recognise they are in crisis). But whatever I’m still paying for this domain name so we roll…

You find me very much not where you left me. Instead, I’m 5 years on, and fresh out the lobby of Heartbreak Hotel (1/10, do not recommend!). But 2025 is the year I promised myself I had to check out of there with whatever sanity remained (actual amounts tbc) and instead do something nice for me. Cos I think after the utterly on-brand, involuntary shit show of this past year, I deserve it.

So I booked another adventure – wahoo (what could possibly go wrong I hear you ask!?) especially since I’m rolling solo again (let us pray!) cos lord knows I needed the joy!

For the day 1 huns, it really will be like the good old days of tales of travels on my larry, though Liz will of course be missed in real life and the readership figures! For any new faces, this blog is probs best described as stream of consciousness calamity meets attempt to confirm travel status as ‘don’t worry family im still alive’.

I’ve plotted a route of “I really want to go there” places, which, coincidently make zero geographical sense, but who cares. I am also bare old these days so “portraits of hostel dwellers” will be replaced with “characters from the swanky hotel lobby” because, no, I don’t want to have to wear flip flops when I shower or sleep below the dorm’s crusty top-shagger bunk bed (been there, done that, had the tshirt stolen etc)

I start as I mean to go on, in the Heathrow Terminal 3 lounge (thanks family for the treat) with a glass of fizz, a smorgasbord of cheese and the impending doom of the world’s longest continuous flight…

First stop New Zealand 🇳🇿 – just the casual 27hr journey to get through first. Pray for me (and an upgrade) and promise I’ll report on news of what the other hemisphere has in store when I get there…if you promise to tell me what Tuesday 15th April was like because I will miss the entire thing trapped in a tin can in the sky!

So for now, here’s to being brave, doing hard things and reminding myself this girl (hopefully!) can. But most importantly, cheers to putting my money where my mouth is in pursuit of a new, better, happier chapter (and returning with all my limbs in tact this time!)

See you on the other side x