Survived our FINAL night train – wahoo. Was touch and go for 5 mins or so though, after I smashed my head really badly on the roof trying to get up to my bed on world’s tiniest comedy ladder! Top bunk surprisingly ok, actually managed 3 hours sleep or so…pretty impressive given the 10hr journey.

Arrived in Beijing at 6am, tired and achey from mammouth few days of hiking and kung fu! Straight to ‘pit stop’ hostel in middle of town for a quick bit of breakie and to pack a day bag for our overnight stay at the Great Wall.

Decided to swing by the Olympic Park en route as various demands by members of group to fit things in as we all leave on different days at different times means everything a bit manic and confused.

Had another zombie ish wander. Thought it would be much more pristene and preserved but Ann (our guide) outlined the government have pretty much let it go to shit as the maintenence costs even when it is unused for a year are £2 million. If it is used they increase significantly so it’s just sitting empty until the 2022 winter Olympics rolls round and guessing they’ll employ an entire village to give it a jet wash!!!

Headed on to one of the standout highlights of the trip, our trek on the great Wall. Shame we were also starving and shattered from being up since 5am! Prospect of a 4hrs hike really not appealing….literally at all…morale was low, even comedy singalong in car effort was shot down! #toughcrowd

 

We visited the Badaling ancient segment of the wall. An unrestored section ordinarily open only to locals, expert Dragon Trip insider skills meant that we too were able to walk it. It was physically the most demanding day we’ve had, constant ups and downs on uneven, slippery and rocky terrain. We struggled. A lot. Essentially we only perserved by all imagining David Beckham was waiting for us half naked at the top with a plate of cheese!!!

 

It was a lot of fun and one of he most peaceful and rewarding things we have done all tour. The silence was deafening, you could literally hear a pin drop, well when we’d taken a break from excessive cursing and hyperventilating anyway!

Journey back down almost as tough and more treacherous as constant concentration on not falling flat on your arse required. Unbelievably I picked up zero injuries! A miracle! Group all very patronisingly proud!

 

Couldn’t decide if we wanted to eat, sleep or cry by time we got back to the hotel. Sleep deprivation was seriously taking its toll and all of us where physically and mentally exhausted.

Had another “sharing” meal…..where vulture like group members with zero consideration or “buffet etiquette” stuffed faces and spun the lazy Susan towards themselves whilst others trying to eat from it!!!! #JOEYDOESNTSHAREFOOD! Worst quality meal we’ve had all trip, pushed a few bits about my plate and admitted defeat.

Before we headed to bed….at 9pm (!!) it was time for the famous Dragon Trip chopstick challenge, who can pick up the most peanuts with chopsticks! I was the joyous winner managing 17 of the oily buggers in 30 seconds, not too shabby! Up against competitors who have bought forks from home though so not much contest!!!

Next morning was another shocking 4.45am start to catch sunrise on the Great Wall….all skeptical of timings as outlined by guide but met her at reception as planned. Skeleton group as others decided to stay in bed….?!?! “Sure, you have a lie in, after all you can watch sunrise at the great wall of china any time”…….oh wait!?

 

Headed to the same section we’d walked yesterday which was a bit rubbish and surprise surprise by time we’d hiked the hour to reach the first peak we’d pretty much missed it! Did say to guide we thought we’d need more time…so all in all a bit of a pointless excersise. It was bloody freezing, even my knee caps were cold?! Is that even a thing? I mean what even is that?! We were back at the hostel by 6.45am. Productive start to another punishing day!!

Lost another of the group to the dreaded China germs so made for a touch and go 3hr minibus ride back to central Beijing! Bless her. Attempted to sleep nearly the whole way back to the hostel. We were able to check in to the hostel this time so headed up to our depressing 14 bed dorm room…..and sat on my top bunk feeling sorry for myself until it was time to head to Tiannamen Square and the famous Forbidden city tour in the afternoon.

Tiannamen square wasn’t really as I’d imagined. The iconic gate to the palace was smaller and looked more like the front of a travelodge, just with a big pic of Chairman Mao on the front of it! Ann sheepishly told us some of the history of the square which we were already acutely aware of and wanted us not to discuss anything further since there are secret plain clothed police everywhere apparently?!

 

We wandered the many gates and imperial pavilions of the Forbidden city and walked some more steps (shock horror!) to the park pagoda to get a birds eye view of the whole Palace grounds. All beyond exhausted and sad to say that marred a lot of the enjoyment of the day as we were finding it hard to concentrate on literally staying awake, let alone absorbing the surroundings. Guide had very little information which was a bit disappointing as felt we could have learned a lot more about our locations visited than simply having someone to physically take you from A to B.

5 of 6 of us headed to traditional Peking Duck dinner at a swanky looking place along from the hostel. Ordered WAY to much on recommendation from guide and barely scratched the surface. Was delicious but could’ve fed 50 let alone 5!!!

After some negotionations of order of events to try and fit everything in we then went on to the Night market. Essentially rows and rows of food stalls lining a street with weird and wonderful delicacies for the brave (and the stupid!) to try. Classic chinese approach to cuisine of we will literally eat anything, accompanied by shouts from stall holders: “beef, squid, platapus”!…….everything which had a face came with it still attached, save for the baked starfish which just came on sticks?!?!?! Glad we’d eaten before hand!

Monday was our final day in Beijing before we scatter onto new locations and some return home. The morning was spent at the Temple of heaven. As you enter the grounds the first section is a huge public park which is largely famous for the best location for “daily excercises”, a ritual rigorously followed by the elderly generation in China to maintain levels of fitness. It was stuffed full of older people conducting an array of absolutely fascinating excercises, hobbies and routines.

 

4 blokes in their 70s let me join them to play some hackysack, the true game of choice for any self respecting retred person in China! I was actually pretty good at it #foundanothercalling.

Said our goodbyes to Aylia who is en route to Thailand and spent the afternoon bartering for more tacky shit at the world famous Beijing fakes market. 4 floors of fake everything from headphones to hairdye, lipsticks to longchamps. You want fake anything they have it.

Acrobatic show in the afternoon, it was very bizarre but antisocial not to go since it was our last night together. Chinese crowds are seriously hard to please!! I wouldn’t get out of bed for the level of applause the performers received let alone risk my life every day to perform death defying stunts for their amusement. Really is very shocking to see just how ungracious and underwhelmed an audience.

Had a shambolic final dinner which ended up just being 3 of us as Sophie and Frances left early for their 4 star hotel…who can blame them! Average meal in grimy place after vetoing the first choice as the smell of purifying meat so overwhelming we only made in 5 paces inside the door!!!

Said goodbyes to lovely Annick, the best roomie I could’ve asked for all this trip and a real light on the dark days. Thanks for keeping me smiling you absolute hero, I miss you already!

Survived our FINAL and shit night of hostel sleep and said farewell to the tour and Hello next stop: Shanghai! xx