Arrived at the hostel 2 minutes after scheduled tour departure time after nightmare journey, only to find the guide had left without me! Luckily also 2 lovely girls from the tour in the same predicament so we made our own way to the peak to catch up with the guide and one other girl…. After I’d slipped over on the stairs in the rain in my giant backpack and slid down them #firstimpressions #imallglamour

All ladies in our group and only 6 of us, so very different to what I was expecting, Everyone is lovely though and we had an entire day of public transport to bond. #girlsquad

Journey to first point of call in China, Yangshou, was a mission! 8 hrs after crossing the border we arrived at the hostel. Horrifying death ride yet again, weaving in and out of cars, no lanes, no mercy! Lost count of times we stared at giant juggernaut headlights coming straight towards us on wrong side of the road! This was the moment guide decided to tell us a “fun fact” that 700 people die on Chinese roads every DAY! #whatashocker #maniacs!

Arrived at hostel,  It was basic but fine. Got double rooms as there are so few of us so that’s bonus. Went for dinner at Lucy’s Place in town, first authentic chinese food and it was delish. Early ish night ahead of long day of sights.

Took part in a great authentic cooking class, getting to be an actual real life chef for the day (despite outfit making me look like I work in a fast food chain!). All part of the colourful experience was shopping for ingredients in the market near by. Smell will stay with me for a long time, eau de Death and rotting veg! Far more primitive practices than I was looking to ever see let alone at 9am…hypocrisy at its finest given my choice to eat meat but could’ve done without seeing an actual dog get gutted in front of me for customer to put in his stew, whilst the others cowered, 6 or 7 rammed in a tiny cage looking on at their inevitable fate. Cats in same boat! #whatswrongwithtofu?!

Took mainstream food back to the cooking school and got my wok on. So fun and food delicious.

Afternoon was badged as an unmissable activity, cycling to the Lei river for traditional bamboo rafting. By “unmissable” assuming they actually meant terrifying?! Realised I had never actual ridden a bike on a main road in my life #cyclingproficiancyfail #hadbetterthingstodowithmysaturdays and after nearly dying approximately 34 times I can confirm that chinese roads are not a good starting point. So stressful, noisy and generally terrifying. Highlight: getting a pink bicycle with a basket, low light: literally everything else!!!!!! Scenery was beautiful but too busy concentrating on not being flattened by insane bus drivers to notice much. 1.5hrs of cycling takes it toll too, generally not sure if I’ll be able to have kids ever… #newfoundappreciateforchrishoy

Ventured into the town centre for drinks at the famous Monkey Janes rooftop bar. Monkey Jane is a chain smoking, rum drinking, Western loving hostel owner who also happens to be shit hot at Beer Pong, not brave enough to challenge her after our practice attempt. We were shocking. Wrote a Tripadvisor review on all got crappy promotional tshirt though. Drank “buckets” of local alcohol and prayed we wouldn’t get poisoned! Fun night all round!

Wednesday was optional Rock climbing which obviously I didn’t do given I can’t even walk in a straight line! Went for breakfast with Sophie & Frances and a wander to the park pagoda! Looped the park and most of the village several times in attempt to find entrance given Asias complete lack of signage (in any language!) But made it. Few hundred punishing shiny marble steps, wet from constant rain and zero health and safety. Can only assume these activities contribute to capping the population by allowing so many to fall to a hilly death!

Back to hostel to meet our guide and head to Moon Hill. Described as a beautiful scenic hike I was already concerned. Failed to mention in the literature said hike was at the top of 860 steps carved out of a sheer rock face. So slippery and dangerous. Not at all fun. Obviously bets were off as to who was most likely member of group to fall flat on their arse! Right on cue, will have a huge bruise as a momento! Thighs given up after cycling and pagoda hike…#beyonceiaint

Hiked from moon hill to famous mud baths and hot springs deeper into the mountains. Caves beautiful but mud bath freezing. No one made it in past their ankles as couldn’t feel our feet, such a disappointment as we were so excited to do it and take comedy mud snaps! Decided to get in the hot spring instead – also freezing, we persevered but agreed it was pretty much akin to just sitting in a dirty puddle in a building site….just whilst in bikinis being stared at by large chinese tour groups #girlsquadzoo.

Cormorant fishing in the evening which was really weird. Sat in a rickety boat and watched a man on a raft paddle down the river leading 4 birds who caught fish and then regurgitated them into a wicker basket for the family to eat…….it took an hour for them to catch 7 tiny fish! We got cold and I nearly fell over again! But enriching and culturally diverse all the same.

Kayaking on thursday got cancelled due to river being too high….oh dear…what a shame as we all know how great i’dve been at that!! So we went for lunch and stocked up on supplies for the dreaded 25hr train to Chendu….

Spent the afternoon in the rain walking a local market then headed to our hosts family for dinner. Stopped off at her mums place for tea which tasted of fags and tequila and a look at some family photos. She was a really lovely lady despite having teeth like Jaws in James bond. We tried to drink our tea and ate with Sally’s family at their home 10 mins away. Food was yummy and littuns in the house were adoreable.

Managed to meet up with the tour group 2 days behind us for some drinks in town and headed to bed for much needed rest ahead of the mammouth journey.

Yangshou in the whole has just made me realise I am really shit at anything involving hand eye coordination and “the outdoors” But thrown myself into everything regardless. Great company and trying to find comedy in the horror is deffo helping.

Big shout out to Ramsay, Alex and The Dragon Trip crew who really have achieved the impossible though with this tour. If one thing is abundantly clear it’s that organising anything in China is a logistical nightmare. None of this would have been possible to do alone. So sterling job lads!

But for now, maybe Chendu will be more my scene! Bring on the pandas! Just that small matter of a 25.5hr night train to survive first!!!!! Xx